Fights about having more kids ...........

I know what you mean. Hubby and I agreed years ago about having 3 kids. We now have an almost 6 year old and a 2 year old. I would really like one more and I thought that was the plan. Last week he tells me..."i really don't want another. We have two wonderful boys and I don't think we should take the gamble with one more." So I told hom that I didn't want to force him to have one more. How am I supposed to deal with the feelings of sadness? How do I try to feel complete, when I absolutly feel like we need one more? I'm tryng not to say anything because he is very easily guilted into things, and I don't want him to "give in" if it's not really something he wants. I don't know what to do.

i was in a relationship that just ended over this issue...i was the one that would not have another baby, no way no how and the man had the baby fever...this is something that is loaded...you have the baby and he might feel different but he also may not, and this may drive him away from you...you don't have the baby and you will feel that he is being selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings...this is a no win situation and i hope it turns out better then mine did.

My hubby says no to another baby as well. But I've always said 2!! But I don't think he was completely ready for Dakota..although he did surprise us both. So we've been slowly talking about things now..as in a few months my bc pills are done..and I no longer want to take them. It took us awhile to even get Dakota..and I don't want them too spaced out either. But he's just not sure...so like I've said..we're slowly talking about things.

sigh!

It sounds like he isn't completely opposed to having another one, since you said he was "ho-hum" about it....so there might be hope. Maybe it's just a timing thing. Your kids are little and close in age, so maybe he just wants some time?
I don't have any personal experience with this since we haven't closed the door on having more yet, but I imagine it to be stressful!!
Hopefully you can come to some kind of agreement!
Hang in there if it really means something to you, you more than likely will come up with some plan that everyone will be happy with!
**well behaved women rarely make history**

Just tell him how fun it will be trying!

~What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy.

Funny thing is that my husband didn't want to have ANYMORE kids after his 1st, but then came the oops of Kristofer and since we had Kris we should probably have a playmate closer to his age so we had Bethany and well we had 2 boys- so wouldn't it be nice to try for another girl... now we have 4 and I still want one more- we are shooting for a year from this coming fall and then I will feel done. I am lucky that my husband is ok with whatever I want- it helps that I am the one raising them during the week while he's gone. I really love my munchkins and glad that my dh had a change of heart.

Pam,dss Jadeyn-11,ds Kristofer-6,dd's Bethany-3 & Emaleigh-1

Until recently, we were in the opposite situation. My husband kept wanting another baby every time he would see a little, tiny one in church or out in public. I said "two is enough." This was a complete 180 from our pre-marital discussion about kids. Back then, I wanted six and he wanted two. How times change!
Anyway, a couple weeks ago our oldest (5) destroyed a television less than 24 hours after we totalled the family car. At that point, my husband saw the light. He's pretty sure we've got all we can handle with the two we have!
Good luck in your negotiation. I'm sure you'll end up the the right number for both of you in the end! My mother had 13, and I'm pretty sure she'd have kept on going if her "time" hadn't run out. I don't think my dad had much choice in the matter (if he wanted to keep sleeping with my mom, that is!).

My BIL's wife wanted one more child also. They already had a boy and a girl, and he thought this was perfect. She REALLY wanted one more! He said absolutely not, no discussing it or anything! Needless to say, that BIL thought that every time she wanted to have sex, that she was trying to get pregnant! Maybe she was? She ended up sleeping on the couch, and before their divorce, they had'nt had sex in over a year!! I thought that it was pretty rude of him to sat NO right away, without even listening to her side of the story! (from what she told me anyways) She ended up having a baby with her new hubby, and he was left alone. I still wonder to this day, would they still be together, if they had one last child with each other??

I'm not QUITE to the point of having baby fever yet, because with school, work, Kyli, trying really hard to get my serious weight issue under control first, financial difficulties, etc, I just don't think I would be able to do it right now, but I know I will be there before John is. He is totally not opposed to having more children, but Kyli was completely unplanned (the BEST thing to ever happen to either one of us, and both of us) and I he just really wants to enjoy her and make sure we are financially set first...I also want to get down to my goal weight before I get pregnant again. I was VERY lucky to have a rather uneventful pregnancy and absolutely flawless delivery and perfectly healthy baby considering my weight, and I really don't want to chance it again!

Could you approach the subject differently? He maybe taking your "i want more kids" offensively even though you don't mean to be. I am the financial person in our family, DH asks for the money....SO I know how much things cost and whether we have the money for it. That being said we are making certain choices to make a baby financially easier for us, such as Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapers (which at first they cost $$ but in the end you SAVE tons more) and buying things at garage sales or thrift shops. Also making your own baby food, and other simple living tips that could offset the cost of baby...
Would that be an option for him then? if you could prove to him all these places you could save $$ even with a newborn?

My trouble with Hubby is that he is the ONLY child and I came from a home that my mom had 12 kids at one point that she considered her own (daycare) so I want at least3 kids spaced two-ish years apart because my sister and brother are at that spacing and we have a wonderful relationship! Hubby doesn't get the whole sibling thing because he never has had one. He also thinks I am trying to turn him "hippy" because I don't follow mainstream parenting techniques, nor do I have any interest in all those stupid "must haves" for a newborn....

Anyway I got off on a tangent. If you are very serious about one more you may need to come up with a different way of talking with hubby. (I dont know how you guys discuss these important matter's in the first place) but a different approach of talking to him might make him see your point more or vice versa...he maybe keeping some feeling from you on his true reasons why he might not want another baby. Just an Idea if you read all this your a saint!

***~SPAM ME with your garage sales I need toys!~***