CYBERBULLYS ON SF MOMS?

Frankly, I got so tired of being attacked that I don't post unless it's something so completely neutral it can't possibly cause an upset or if the topic is something I KNOW FIRST HAND about and am passionate about letting others know "my" truth of it....so to answer your questions, yes I think there are bullies here just like everywhere else in the world, I also think there are several that cause problems on purpose, more that get entirely too defensive over a simple question, answer or opinion (or just plain totally misconstrue the OP period) and a few completely self righteous morons that will always be in their own little "perfect" worlds that 99% of us could never fit into.

I have also met some very honest, sincere, helpful, genuine, nice people that I may or may not have something or anything in common with.

There I have gone and opened myself up to an attack, go ahead I can take it.

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I read the post you are speaking of and I understand why you feel the way that you do. It is a shame because I know that as a mother who doesn't have a lot of other friends with kids I like to come to this site and feel like I fit in and that my opinions will be respected as I respect others. Sometimes its hard for people to remember we all have different experiences and expectations in our lives..When it comes to child care we all want different things for our children..I don't care what anyone says but NO ONE knows what is going to happen to our kids no matter who we leave them with, no matter how great a rep they have. I recall seeing in the news a few accidents happening to children at daycares where their parents thought they were safe and in good hands. As far as bullying goes...I really hope that people don't feel like that's okay..it's what kids do..the one thing we have in common is that we are mom's and we should thrive off that.

yeah i hate drama.
i hate seeing attacks.
such as the one in the previous thread.

the thing of it is, people ask for opinions or experiences about something and people attack them for it which doesn't make sense to me.

because they are doing what the threader asked them to do.

and if someone doesn't agree with it, there is no reason to attack them.. they should just give their opinion on the matter. and if they want to address something someone said they don't agree with, then they can do it in a mature fashion and just say someone said blahblahblahblah but in my opinion or experience that hasn't been how it is for me. instead blahblahblahblah.

i dunno.

but there is no reason to attack anyone!

and, usually, when people do, it is because they have personal ties to what you are saying and it makes them emotional and defensive.

.. but that's just my opinion/experience!.

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I have noticed myself being very careful while posting because I've seen so many people getting "attacked",and then sometimes when I do post I try to defend myself or something before someone can say anything mean to me haha.. Basically everybody has their opinion, and the great thing about opinions is nobodys is right or wrong. I have also read that post you are talking about and was thinking "wow" :)
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Honestly I don’t think Sfmoms is any different that a group of co-workers, some moms at a play date or ladies at church around the coffee pot. Anywhere you go there are going to be people who disagree with you. And some will do it with more tact than others. One of the reasons I particularly enjoy this site is because of the varying opinions. I read the thread you mentioned. TRUST me when I say it’s been worst in the past (E-Warning or strictparenting????) Not that this gives people the right to be rude, but I say take it with a grain of salt. I also think people post “In my opinion” because it is hard to see the tone of how things are written or typed. You could type something to be funny or that has no harm and there will probably be someone who had a crappy day who will get riled up about it. I would just encourage you to ignore anyone who is over the top. When I first started posting on this site there was one gal in particular who I got an immediate bad impression of. After meeting her for the first time, I was immediately convicted because she was genuinely a caring, nice person. So I try to remember there is probably something I don’t know about going on with a person who gets nasty. All this to say, keep on posting!!

maybe she is insecure because she hasn't paid attention to what is going on since she is a new mom. Maybe she is having a not so good, very bad, horrible day.... Maybe she is an employee whom I'd find out because if she is being that pi--- over this then she shouldn't work there. Her short temper and all.... I would want to know if my kid attended there...... She should for her own good respond to being so BOLD in her responses, if not, then chalk it up to a bad comment and YOU r a good mom...... good job mom, you rock, be assertive, ask questions, and first impressions DO mean alot. Gut instict..

So I have only been coming on this site for a month and I try to post very netral and only give my experiences and I also have a little naggy part of my brain that says I sound harsh and judgmental at times. So I try to be careful what I post. If I ever seem to be a bully please let me know and I will remove it so no one feels like they need to defend themselves. I actually have reread my post right ater I hit post and realize I may be jugdmental sounding and I just pull it. I too am very passionate when it comes to parenting my children and others involvement but I also see that other people have very different veiws on how to parent and lord only knows I was raised a lot different than alot of my friends. I think you are right everyone is going to go on thier own when it comes to making decissions about our kids so no matter what anyone says we are going to take our own road. Some times we need a little insight from others experiences just so we make sure we cover all of our bases and that thread had a lot of feed back on little stuff to watch out for. However its not the end all of our own personal journey nor will someones opinion alter yours if you choose not to let it have an inpact it is your choice. I do love this site and I wish I had had it as a resource when my children were little (we had a lot of weird little illnesses and experiences) this site has a lot of intersting topics and helpful information and on one thread you get bits and pieces from each post and you can take away a lot of useful information and insight,

I love this site and have met alot of really nice ladies. I feel so sad when I read that people have had bad experiences. We are adults and I guess that I just feel like we should be examples to our children to teach them how to treat people who have different opinions than us. We don't have to agree with everything, we can even strongly disagree but we should remember that we're all part of the same community. The person I snapped at 2 days ago just might be my boss some day for all I know. So treat each other respectfully especially if you disagree. Mutual respect is just as important in cyberspace as it is in any relationship. Peace out! ;)

Unfortunately when you get a large group of people together whether it is in public on forums or where-ever there are going to be people who have very strong opinions on certain subjects and there are going to be people who take what you or someone else said/typed as a personal attack.

It is kind of like high school all over....I have just learned to pick and choose what topics I respond to. If we had an abortion thread I would not respond because my opinion on the subject may differ from yours and those are not black and white matters so to speak. Same goes for circumcision, Presidential candidates, Drugs, Vaccinations for kids...the list goes on.

Also I recognize as someone who has never had my own kids yet I don't respond to people asking for advice, because I now there are other people here with a lot more experience then me in those areas.

It is sad that you feel attacked or others have felt that way, but part of posting here is so people can express their views and opinions knowing that everyone may not agree...

I wish we all could get along but sadly it just isn't that easy!

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I went back and read what you were referring to, I personally would not have lost sleep over it, and I am sure you didn't either. I am not easily offended though. What I have found in these cases is a need for the "attacker" to be right. It seems to me that in some cases if a poster is not immediatly herrald as the right one then they become very emotional sometimes striking out at another mom. I find this rather interesting, what makes us think that we are always the right one? In cases where someone is asking for an opinion, they are doing so wanting more than one opinion. Not looking for the one who is "right" Sometimes they need the opinion that is "right" for them. I personally strongly disagree with many women on this board. Most of whom, I greatly respect and really like. I am not offended by their feelings, or opinions. Twoathome and I have debated many issues in a very respectful manner. I have met her and like her very much. I also respect that while we may disagree on serious issues, she is always well informed and a great communicator. We also have a lot in common. Our parenting styles are very similar. This is just one example among many. I feel that if you are a mature, well rounded individual, it is possible to disagree without hurling personal attacks against anyone. We are all mothers here, and should hold ourselves to a higher standard.

I personally just think this is all so silly and immature. I guess I haven't noticed the "bullying" (don't feel bullied myself and certainly don't bully anyone else), but obviously others perceive this site that way. If anything, I think it's really cliquish, which TOTALLY brings me back to high-school and all the suck-up, social-ladder-climbing girls I used to know, but I just try to ignore that aspect of it. "Popularity" amongst adults just seems weird to me, but I guess some people will always need that social acceptance to feel like they are "in" with the crowd, if that makes any sense at all. God knows I have opinions about almost everything and frankly try not to hold back, although I have been a little bit lately. If people don't want to read it, they don't have to, just like I can choose to either ignore/skip over certain topics as well. I wouldn't feel good about myself if there was a certain subject I cared deeply about and I didn't speak up about it. That's just me, and I will always continue to be that way. What I hate is when people do have something to say and can't say it to your face. Talk about high-school. I am the kind of person that lets things just roll off my back and am secure enough in myself that I don't need the "approval" of everybody. If 300 people disgreed with me, who cares? I would still feel the same way I originally did (unless someone can open my mind up to a new way of thinking, which is the whole point of discussion).
My point is, after rambling on, is that I just wish everybody could feel this way rather than feeling "bullied". If someone truly is a bully or is mean or rude to you or jumps down your throat about something, why care what they think of your opinion anyway, you know? I don't waste my time worrying about bullies. That's how I look at it.

I am very confident. Often mistaken as rude ;) I also will call you on things I find inappropriate. The daycare provider who finds so much time to post during hours she is persumably open.
I wouldn't want her to have watched my kids. I thought they needed more attention than a woman sitting at a computer. I get jumped on every time I mention it but would you seriously want her to watch your kids? Watch her posting times and see what you think she is doing while you are paying her to provide safe and adequate care.
I brag up my kids. Are they perfect? No. But they are above average when it comes to manners, social skills and grades. I received hateful pm's about my children and how many on here would hate to be my kids. LOL. Funny most of the comments were from women who are having struggles in other areas of their lives as well Cyber bulling? Maybe if that is what you want to call it. But the pm's I received were much nastier than anything I have every posted publicly or privately.